I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
bring money and cleavage
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
