just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
