Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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