I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
