I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
