If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
