there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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