We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
