like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
