omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
