I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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