In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
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