we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Need sex. Gaining weight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
