It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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