You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
