I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
