just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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