I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
