I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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