Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
