even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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