By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
