I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
