Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
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