why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
