I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
