He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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