He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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