When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize