Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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