whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
