Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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