i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
