if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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