Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
