I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
