Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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