Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
