Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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