WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
