The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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