I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize