is wine microwaveable?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
