your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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