Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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