She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize