Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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