Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
