you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
