i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
