I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
