..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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