just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
