i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
