So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
