people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
