how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
