Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
