I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
