your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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