I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just had sex bonerless
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
