Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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